It's Your Party: Working the Room

Approximate reading time: 2.5 mins 

It is classically said of Bill Clinton that he is brilliant at ‘working the room’. People who meet him say you have his undivided attention, as if he’s come to meet you personally. And yet, he seems to be able to do this with everybody in the room. 

In contrast it was once rather nastily said of Gordon Brown that “he could lighten a room simply by leaving it.” 

Whether it’s a business reception, cocktail party, networking event or some other social situation, how do you get best value and open up opportunities? 

There are clearly people who ‘work the room’ in a calculating and manipulative way, while others shrink and disappear in the corner. Somewhere in between lies the capability to build quick relationships and create opportunities.

One useful approach is to treat every social occasion, whether it’s a professional gathering or business cocktail party, as if you were hosting the event in your home.

In that situation you would probably prepare thoroughly - think about who was coming, help introduce people to each other and generally take care to look after each and every person attending. 

What emerges at these events is akin to a dance, as people flow around, sensitive to each other’s body language, joining and leaving groups and being socially aware. 

Fortunately, this dance does not require ballet or ballroom training. It’s something we can all do quite naturally if we relax and set out to enjoy ourselves.

But it’s also clear that certain techniques work and can be practised. Many involve the ability to build rapport quickly and create a positive chemistry in relationships. Whilst many of the behaviours might look like courting rituals, the intention is quite different. Often it is small-talk that leads to big business. 

10 Tips:

 --Clarify Your Purpose: what do you most want from the situation? Is there someone specific you want to meet? Or something you need to find out?

--You’re Not the Only Shy One: most peoplefeel shy in these situations. Although we often feel completely isolated and alone, we are in fact ‘in the majority!’ 

--Observe For a While: get a drink and see what’s going on, identify any groups that you might join (watch the body-language) and, whilst waiting, somebody might well approach you.

--Be Patient: it’s useful just to position yourself at the edge of another conversation between a small group of people. After a while you might find a good reason to contribute to what’s going on.

--Initiate Conversations: it helps if you place your attention on others and use your curiosity to start and maintain conversations. 

--Join a Group: be sensitive to the tone, pace and energy of the group. Don’t steal the conversation away from others

--Use Questions: openers that ask people questions about their presence at the event can be useful: “What brings you here? Is this your first time at this event? What’s your contact with (the host)?”

--Use the Name Tag: as a way of initiating conversation, you might refer to the person’s company or job title and ask them a question about what they do. 

--Be Curious: rather than thinking about yourself and perhaps feeling hard-done-by due to the situation, start focusing on the other people and use your curiosity to start up a conversation. 

--Move Around: having given someone your full attention, politely move on and meet as many people as possible.

This blog was contributed by Michale Maynard, Director of Maynard Leigh Associates